Well I have been a closet diet and food blog perve for some time-and decided to give it a go on my own. I am a 23 year old female, who has spent the past 12 years or so obsessed with food and my weight. Sometimes I find it overwheling when I think about how much time i think about food. its ridiculous.
So this is probably only adding to my obsession-but i thought it may be theraputic.
For example- I am still obsessing over my food intake for the day-yet at the same time I am counting down the moment until i can have my diet hot chocolate.
sick huh.
what did i eat today u ask.... well i cant sleep-so i am up at 5 every morning
6am- fage 0% yogurt, 1/2 apple 1/2 cup fiber one, 2 cups coffee w splenda and fat free half and half
9am-fage 0% yogurt, 1/2 apple
10:30- 1 small apple
12- 1/2 panera chicken ceasar salad-no croutons or cheese w the reduced asain dressing on the side and 2 peices of plain sourdough
3pm- fiberone bar
6pm- lettece, tomatoes, turkey breast, mustard and fat free ranch dressing
730-diet hot chocolate and microwaved apple
yeah thats pretty much the routine every day. and i always do about 1 hour of exercise. I am thin- but not painfully so. About 110 lbs and 5'4-but very muscular.
however-food controls my life. i wont go somewhere if i cant get something healthy and every moment is spent thinking about food-isnt that insane
also-it controls my social life- i know i eat tooo much fiber and have horrific gas and crap all day long- so ofcourse no social life or boyfriend-for that would interupt my eating routine.
i have strugled with aneroxia in the past-so i know i am doing well-but i am still so controled by food.... ahhh... will it ever end??
well if u read this and have suggestions-let me know! i need to make changes-dont know how!
1 comment:
Hey there,
I just got through your blog from Kath's Sweat Eat Sleep Repeat. Well, I think that there are just so many other girls around this world that are so food obsessed, and six months ago I joined the group too. I have always had a good relationship with food (I ate whatever I wanted without really thinking about portions, calories etc.) but then I found out about dieting and became obsessive with measuring and burning calories. It lasted well for 6 months, where I lost around 8 kg, but now I have reached this mental barrier where all I want to do is eat food I haven't eaten in so long. I gained weight. I still can't stop thinking about food. From the moment I am up and all through the day its all about "what am I going to eat for lunch?" or "can I keep going for another hour without eating?"...Yeah, I have also pretty much given up on social life - going out means no 5 am workout. I live with my parents most of the time and have to stand all the fatty food my ma makes and her annoying attitude of not letting me eat food that I define healthy. If my family was more supportive of what I was doing instead of critical, weight lost and maintenance wouldn't be a battle, it would be a lifestyle. It would also mean no eating disorder of any kind.
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